To be with small children all day is to know how it feels to be both smothered and lonely simultaneously. It can leave you feeling isolated in the middle of a very noisy and chaotic room. It can also leave you feeling burnt out and overwhelmed in a very quiet and calm room. Every day you are confronted by the reality that your sense of peace or connectedness comes from within you; it is not based on your surroundings.
This can be hard to admit, and is often harder to address, than thinking you just need more friends, or a girls’ night, or a maid, or anything else that you could go out an attempt to acquire. It requires you to become more intentional in knowing yourself and what you need.
Find the thing that makes you come alive and then incorporate it into your lifestyle. When you are doing something you truly love, you begin to feel a connection with others and with life on a whole new level.
What stops us from connecting
One of the biggest barriers to connection is comparing ourselves with others. When we focus on our perceived weaknesses, we halt our growth and miss opportunities to capitalize on our strengths. Instead, find your strengths and use them daily. Incorporate them into your everyday lifestyle. Once you become intentional about growing into your own best self, you will notice connection with others runs deeper. You will sense that the people who come into your life really get you and appreciate you more, because you are putting more of your best out there. If they don’t appreciate that, you will still be stronger for it and maybe you will find that it wasn’t the connection with others that you were longing for, but the connection to your true self.
Tips to increase self-connection
- Silence – find ways to carve out some time to hear yourself think or meditate
- Affirmations – how you talk to yourself matters. Speak positive and loving words to yourself and silence your inner critic
- Exercise and eat healthy foods – the think between diet, exercise, and mood is expansive. Want to improve your mood? Move your body and stay away from junk foods!
- Read and write often – learn a new skill, read something uplifting, journal or blog. It can be for others or for your eyes only, but putting things into words helps your mind untangle the ideas that might otherwise feel jumbled.
If you want a deeper connection with others, you must be willing to establish a deeper sense of connection within yourself.